There is one thing that bothers me more than not knowing my father's stories.

I can't remember the sound of his voice.

He died when I was young. There are stories I'll never get to ask him about. Things I wonder now that I never would have thought to ask then.

But what surprises me most is how much I wish I could hear him.

Just hear him say my name.

Hear him laugh.

Hear the rhythm of his voice in a conversation.

A few years ago, I would have told you the greatest loss is forgetting the details of a life.

Now I'm not so sure.

As my mother's dementia has progressed, I've come to understand that our stories are more than information. They are how we know each other. They are how we know ourselves.

And they are far more fragile than we think.

Earlier this year, I gave a TEDx talk that began with my mother.

I thought I was exploring memory and identity. I thought I was asking what happens when someone begins to lose the stories that shaped them.

What I discovered was a much bigger question.

What happens when we stop carrying our stories at all?

Some of us are losing stories because of disease.

Some are losing them because the people who held them are gone.

And some of us are simply assuming we'll remember later.

We tell ourselves we'll ask next time.

We'll record it someday.

We'll write it down when life slows down.

But stories disappear quietly.

One conversation not had.

One question not asked.

One voice no longer here to answer.

I've spent years helping people find and use their voice.

What I've come to believe is that voice isn't only about speaking.

It's about preserving.

It's about carrying forward the stories, memories, lessons, and moments that make us who we are.

It's about making sure the people we love don't disappear one untold story at a time.

This TEDx talk is the most personal and important talk I've ever given.

Not because I stood on a stage.

Not because it's TEDx.

Because I genuinely believe this conversation matters.

I believe we need to ask more questions.

I believe we need to tell more stories.

I believe we need to record the voices of the people we love.

And I believe that in a world increasingly focused on information, stories remain one of the most human things we have.

I'd love for you to watch the talk.

And if it resonates, I'd love for you to share it.

Not for me.

For the conversation it might start.

Before you go, I have one question:

Whose story do you still need to ask for while you can?

P.S.

• I love to have virtual coffee chats, reply to this email with “let’s chat” if you do too. I'd love to hear your story.

3423 Piedmont Rd NE, Atlanta, Ga 30306
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